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Paul B's thread

No, we ate in my house. I will go back there today to help him clean up and throw out the carpet. I will also go to Home Depot to get him a shop vac and I will build shelves to put all that food back on and fix the plumbing permanently. They are great friends but he is my money guy, investment counselor and generally those guys don't know which end of a screwdriver to use to hammer a nail in with. :cool:
 
All done, I built him two nice cabinets up to the ceiling so now he can buy more pickles and beans. :cool:
 
I would never leave one of my friends in a predicament like that and my friends know that which is why they know they can call me at any hour for any problem.** That's why I have friends from grammar school and I would do anything for them.**
Another friend called me once when her husband was soldering some plumbing pipes in a small closet and he fainted from the fumes or lack of oxygen.** It was in the middle of the night so I had to go there and fix the pipe because they couldn't turn on the water.
But the best one was when we were going to a wedding.** WE were supposed to pick up our friends on the way.** He was finishing his basement.**** Just before we left, he calls me screaming (I get that a lot) saying he broke his water main coming into his basement.** You can't shut that off because**the valve**is out by the street buried somewhere in his grass a couple of feet down.** By the time you find it, you will have to get out a canoe to get through your basement.
So I run to my friends plumbing supply and get a slip fit fitting and bring my wedding clothes to his house.** Our wife's go to the wedding.** My friend is no dope so he found a broom handle, shaved it down and banged it into the broken pipe stopping the water, but only after 50 gallons or so of water flooded his newly finished basement.
I have the slip fitting ready, we open all the faucets and we put on our SCUBA goggles and snorkels.** No really.** I know as soon as we remove that broom stick, water will shoot out so fast, we won't be able to see.** So we are ready and he tries to take out the broom stick.** It won't move.** It swelled up in the pipe.** Now we have to cut the pipe.** Before we do, we prepare another broom stick in case this doesn't work.** Now we are wearing large plastic garbage bags with our heads sticking out, SCUBA masks and snorkels and start cutting the pipe.** Water is gushing out in all directions as we cut, the water is hitting the walls, our faces and everywhere in 8' sweeps.** Good thing we had the masks or we wouldn't be able to see.** Now I am feverishly trying to connect the two cut ends of the pipe together but it is hard due to the deluge so we are working by feel.**
We finally get the two ends of the pipe in this fitting and clamp it down.
The water stops and is now coming out the faucets.** We carefully shut those off one by one and there are no leaks.
That was 25 years ago and that pipe has not leaked yet.
After the wedding I went home and immediately put a bracket on my water main so it can't be moved.
 
I was just jerking around with my water cooled LED lighting system and noticed that my empty reactor is still filled with baby shrimp. They grew a little and I am surprised they are still in there because the water goes into the bottom and out through the top so if they are day dreaming, they will be carried into the skimmer where they will have a nice sauna due to my ozonizor then, if they live through that, into my tank.

I also think my male bangai cardinal is near the end of his life. I know I said that last year but he is way past his normal life span and although looks like the picture of health, he is dying of old age and barely eats. Their lifespan in the sea is only 3 years and I have him longer than that. I thought I would have lost him months ago but he is still hanging in there.

When a fish dies of old age they act somewhat like we do. He slowed down and just hangs around his usual haunts starring at me thinking over his life, what he accomplished and what legacy he will leave behind. He lost most interest in food and I think he is too lazy to eat. We do the same thing as we age and I saw my own Mother, Mother N Law and last week ,my best friends Mom do the same thing just before they died.

Their body lost the capacity to digest food so even if I wanted to stupidly force feed him, it would do no good. Fish that are dying of old age also show no disease symptoms. Eventually he will start to go blind then other fish may pick on him. At that point, if I can grab him, I will euthanize him. No I won't hit him over the head with a hammer or lay him in the street until a school bus runs him over. Instead I will put him in salt water in the freezer where he will slow down until his heart stops. Cold blooded creatures all slow down when chilled. Turtles, lizzards, snakes, bears and Paris Hilton all slow down. (Yes I know bears are not cold blooded and I knew you would correct me.)




No need to feel bad for the fish as he lived a full and happy life. He also spawned many times. Even though he looks perfect, I give him another week. I could be wrong but that is my guess.









I am not sure if Mermaids are cold blooded. Maybe only the lower half of them




 
I think that bangai cardinal is making a fool out of me as he is eating well and looks better than he ever did. He is well past his supposed lifespan so maybe he is taking suppliments.

My copperband also had this dark mark on his side and now it is almost gone. This is how he looked a few months ago.






Then a few weeks ago it faded.






Now it faded even more which leads me to believe he drew that black mark on his side with magic marker.
 
I just finished a new one which I really like. The glass is two liquor bottles cut in half and the necks also cut off. I am not crazy about those bottles so am drinking heavily to get two more, nice looking bottles. I hope my liver holds out.

The part where the antique radio switch is in is a quart paint can. I cut out about 3" of the middle and squashed the ends together and the base is oak. There is an 11" 40 watt bulb in there.

 
I just thought of this and figured it may be interesting. When we were first married my tank was a 40 gallon which was considered pretty big then. I had the tank before we were married so naturally the tank came along with me when my wife and I got our first apartment. That apartment was on the first floor of an attached home and it was the smallest apartment I have ever seen. But we couldn't rub two nickels together to make a dime so it sufficed for a few years. We had one tiny closet in the entire apartment and that was under a stair case. The "living room, dining room and kitchen" was really one small room. The other room was the bedroom. In the part of the apartment we called the dining room, which was really just the tiny entrance into the place we had the fish tank. The tank took up almost a quarter of the hall way/dining area, which had no table, we just called it that to make it sound like we had a dining room. We really had two stools at the kitchen counter as that was all that would fit.
When our Daughter was born, we put her in the same whicker bassinet that I was in when I was born. Luckily it was on wheels because we had to wheel her back and forth to be able to walk past the bassinet and the fish tank.
I am surprised my new wife put up with that for so long and still does.
One day just two days after we moved in I came home from work to find my wife hysterical crying. I said, whats wrong. She said the stove (which was brand new and she never used it yet) blew up right after she closed the oven door to check on some Chinese food she was warming up for dinner. She wanted me to call the stove manufacturer and tell them they almost killed her. There was Chinese food all over the newly painted apartment and the fish tank. Luckily the fish didn't mind the salty food. I inspected the oven and it looked like a pot belly stove. The insulation was coming out and the sides were bent out. The bottom of the oven was also bent down.
In those days you had to turn on the gas to the oven, then light it with a match. Now they are all electric start. I pulled out the stove and started to take it apart to see if I could find the cause of the explosion.
My wife was just yelling about the manufacturer.
Then I found the problem. As I said this was a tiny apartment, (and a tiny stove) My wife was just 18 and we had just came back from our Honeymoon two days prior to this. We also had no money to replace the stove.
I found an exploded can of "PAM" spray in the oven. The stuff you spray in a pan so stuff don't stick. I can tell you that PAM doesn't keep Chinese food from sticking to walls or fish tanks.
She would store stuff in the oven for lack of any other place to put it and that can must have rolled in the back where she didn't see it.
I had to take every part out of that stove, insulation, rivets, everything and straighten it out. I got it looking almost like new and it worked for the next five years until we moved.
This is her then

 
Funny story, glad everyone was ok, that last lamp is my favorite so far!
 
I am kind of partial to that last lamp myself. It is still on my workbench and every time I go in there I have to turn it on to admire it for a couple of seconds. :cool:
 
Today after breakfast at a diner my wife and I went to the gym. Our regular gym is closed this week because they are doing a water change in the pool. I think they got algae, cyano or flatworms, I really don't know but the town lets us go to another gym if ours is closed.

This other gym is beautiful. It is also gigantic with maybe fifty new machines. A huge room for basketball where you can probably have 4 games going on at once and a very big aerobics studio. Outside they have electric plugs in the parking lot if you have an electric car (which no one has) and all the shrubbery uses almost no water like cactus so the water drains down through the rocks to be collected to use in the bathrooms. Besides myself and my wife, there were two other people there. We have gone there a few times and never saw more than two or three people there. Anyway, after exercising I went into the bathroom.

A sign over the urinals and toilet bowls reads "Gray recycled water Do Not Drink."

I am so glad they posted those signs because I was thirsty and just about to stick my head in there for a drink. I mean, is it me! Do they really need those signs? It's like that little bag they put in with electronics that read "Do Not Eat". Like how hungry are you anyway!
 
It's important to reiterate that that toilet water is less desirable than the toilet water in your own house. Doesn't everyone have a little toilet water now and then? That water gets changed many times on a daily basis - so it must be fresh.
 
For a few days I couldn't find any of my anemone crabs, and I have 5 of them. I searched behind rocks with a flashlight, crawled under and to the back of the tank with a mirror, called out their name etc. Not one.

But this morning before the lights came on I see four of them on the same montipora like they were checking out each other's cell phones. I can't find the fifth one but he may be shedding someplace or just enjoying his quiet time.




 
Today my wife went to the drug store and as she went down the porch stairs I saw that a few of the bricks on the top step were loose. Great, now I need to fix that so my wife of the mail "Lady" don't break their neck.

I put those bricks on there about 20 years ago and I didn't do a real great job. Of course there is a reason. I probably put this on here 80 pages ago but I will put it on again.

At that time I wanted my fieldstone and brick porch fixed and I was working around the clock in Manhattan so my wife said to hire someone. I never hire anyone because I always end up doing it myself anyway. WE have an argument and she won. So I get this guy who did my friends porch and did a good job. He comes to my house with a shovel that has a hole in it, a stick with a piece of string tied to it for a ruler and a sledge hammer that he has duct taped in the middle of the handle.

I also want him to make a new sidewalk in front of my house where a large oak tree broke up the walk.

He demolishes the sidewalk and stone porch. I built him a large wooden box that I wanted him to put in the porch and pour 6" of cement around and on top of it because I wanted the porch hollow unlike 100% of all porches that are filled with dirt. In the freezing winter, those porches expand and the stones bulge out and break. My way, the thing will last 1,000 years like the pyramids.

I come home from work and he has the box in there but he filled it with dirt. I tried to explain my pyramid method to him but it was lost in the translation. I told him I don't care how they do it in South America, here, you do it my way. So "we" removed the dirt from the box and turned it over.

The next day the cement truck is there when I come home and he poured cement over the box as I described. The cement truck driver said to this genius that he has cement left over and what should he do with it? The contractor told him to dump it in the "storm drain in the street". The driver who was not an Idiot just smirked and drove away. Like I need a half a truck of cement in my storm drain.




The next day he is installing the sidewalk and I told him to put a stress groove in front of the tree because that is where it is going to crack and the stress groves are there so you can direct the crack where you want it and not in the middle of the slab.

Of course he put a groove everyplace I told him not to so to this day I have cracks all over my sidewalk.




Again I come home to fine his guy building my stairs in my stone porch with cinder blocks. The holes facing up. The stone porch was built out of fieldstone with brick edging and the steps were supposed to be brick. The guy told me, "This is how we do it in Guatemala". I said, "look around, does this look like Guatemala?."




I come home the next day and he is installing bricks for the stairs. There are three steps. The top one is about 4", the second one is about 10" and the bottom one is about 14". I said is this also how they do it in Guatemala?

TAKE THEM OUT AND PUT THEM IN ALL THE SAME SIZE. or is that asking too much.




I come home the next day and he is finished. I try to go in my house, but I can't open the door because he built the porch higher than my door. It is also sloping into my house so if it rained, all the water would flow into my living room.

He tells me to cut the door. I tell him, I am going to cut his throat. Then he tells me he will "grind" down the concrete so I can open the door.




I said, "You have a shovel with a hole in it, a stick with string on it, and a hammer with fifteen dollars worth of tape holding it together and you are going to grind down the concrete two inches all the while I am standing out in the street because I can't get into my house. Is that what you are going to do?

He says, "I don't think you want to pay me" I said PAY YOU, I am going to kill you if you don't get off my property.




Now I have to find a neighborhood kid to help me smash up the new porch so I can get in my house, then I had to re-build it as fast as I could because I had to go to work.

That is one reason I never hire anyone for anything.

Just now I cemented in those loose bricks and if I get the time I will remove all the edging bricks and re-install them like they do it here in the US.
 
Here is the porch as it is today. I have a planter over the broken steps until the cement dries. I also built that big rock in the foreground, it is hollow.
When that Japanese red maple has leaves on it you can only see a portion of it.

 
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