So yesterday I had to go to a Hand Doctor. For some reason I am susceptible to this trigger finger thing (maybe I got that in Viet Nam) But as you get older, you are susceptible to all sorts of things which is why it is so exciting to wake up.
For instance last night I slept in my Grand Kids bed (with my feet hanging off the end) and my wife slept in our bed. It's OK because after 44 years married we know what each of us looks like. We do this occasionally because I "may" sometimes snore. At least my wife tells me. She doesn't exactly tell me, she kicks me and says OOOOOOoommm, go somewhere else. Thats my cue.
Old people also don't sleep during the night, they get very tired in the day but can't sleep at night so I met my wife at 2:30 this morning in the kitchen looking for melatonin and other things that are supposed to make you sleep but really don't. We both had some and went back to "beds".
But as I was saying about the thrill of old people waking up, you never know what is going to hurt. I had a dream last night that I was dancing with Christie Brinkley, but it could have been Govenor Chris Christy, my memory is foggy.
I was swinging her around and I think I also picked her up a few times to throw her over my head. On second thought I am sure it was Gov. Chris Christie because this morning I can't move my wrist. At my age, even dreams cause injury.
I didn't go to the doctor for that because those dream injuries generally heal by the next nights dream where I may be an orthopedic surgeon working on Evel Kneval .
I went to that hand guy for the trigger finger. I told him I am moving in a few weeks and really need my right hand so what are my options. For people who don't know what trigger finger is, it is when you open your hand to like slap yourself awake or block your wife's hand from slapping you and one of your fingers stays closed. Then you have to take your other hand and use that to open your finger.
It is an easy operation and I had it done on other fingers 3 times, but I still have 8 more that will probably get as we are not supposed to live past about 37.
But he said ,after the operation you can't lift anything heavier than a tea cup and I also have mugs, platesand coral banded shrimp to pack so the operation is not an option right now. So we decided to do a steroid injection.
This didn't work on my other three fingers but it was free so I said, what the heck. I also forgot how it feels when he sticks this needle into the palm of your hand. I was lucky because this time he didn't have that cute assistant there so I could scream without being to embarrassed. The last time I had to go all the way to my car and close the windows before I screamed.
This Monday I have to go and have a tune up on my knees. I probably need new knees as industrial construction is not kind on your knees. When I get my new knees I want those good Home Depot Pressure treated ones so I can go through metal detectors. The same thing happened yesterday at the Knee guy. Instead of operating (for the 6th time) he will inject me with this grease mixed with Prixapro after fresh water dipping them.
I also may have to quarantine one knee from the other one for 72 days. The needle that they inject this Goo into your knee looks something like a turkey baster and it has a crank on it. Not a pleasant feeling either.
The whole point of this story is when I was driving home there was this gray foreign car in front of me going very slow. About 50 feet from the corner the car makes a right turn. Of course this was a sidewalk and he crashed into a "no parking sign" and bent it over. I put on my emergency flashers and got out to see if he was OK. At first i didn't see anyone in the car and figured it was parked and started moving. But I remembered following him for a while. I looked closer and this ancient little guy was in the drivers seat looking through the steering wheel. I think he was texting. He looked to be about 100, I asked if he was hurt and I assume his wife, but it could have been his nurse, BFF, heart doner, driving instructor or Karate teacher was in the passenger seat. He put the car in reverse and backed up into the oncoming traffic. I ran to the back of the car to stop the cars because i don't think this guy could hear me yell STOP!.
I ran to the front of his car and took a picture of his license and he drove off at two MPH.
I called 911 even thought I felt real bad for the guy, but he was going to kill himself, me or the Rock singer he had with him.
Unfortunately there is no age limit for driving but I think they should at least give you a test to see if you can remain conscious long enough get to a corner before you make a turn.
For instance last night I slept in my Grand Kids bed (with my feet hanging off the end) and my wife slept in our bed. It's OK because after 44 years married we know what each of us looks like. We do this occasionally because I "may" sometimes snore. At least my wife tells me. She doesn't exactly tell me, she kicks me and says OOOOOOoommm, go somewhere else. Thats my cue.
Old people also don't sleep during the night, they get very tired in the day but can't sleep at night so I met my wife at 2:30 this morning in the kitchen looking for melatonin and other things that are supposed to make you sleep but really don't. We both had some and went back to "beds".
But as I was saying about the thrill of old people waking up, you never know what is going to hurt. I had a dream last night that I was dancing with Christie Brinkley, but it could have been Govenor Chris Christy, my memory is foggy.
I was swinging her around and I think I also picked her up a few times to throw her over my head. On second thought I am sure it was Gov. Chris Christie because this morning I can't move my wrist. At my age, even dreams cause injury.
I didn't go to the doctor for that because those dream injuries generally heal by the next nights dream where I may be an orthopedic surgeon working on Evel Kneval .
I went to that hand guy for the trigger finger. I told him I am moving in a few weeks and really need my right hand so what are my options. For people who don't know what trigger finger is, it is when you open your hand to like slap yourself awake or block your wife's hand from slapping you and one of your fingers stays closed. Then you have to take your other hand and use that to open your finger.
It is an easy operation and I had it done on other fingers 3 times, but I still have 8 more that will probably get as we are not supposed to live past about 37.
But he said ,after the operation you can't lift anything heavier than a tea cup and I also have mugs, platesand coral banded shrimp to pack so the operation is not an option right now. So we decided to do a steroid injection.
This didn't work on my other three fingers but it was free so I said, what the heck. I also forgot how it feels when he sticks this needle into the palm of your hand. I was lucky because this time he didn't have that cute assistant there so I could scream without being to embarrassed. The last time I had to go all the way to my car and close the windows before I screamed.
This Monday I have to go and have a tune up on my knees. I probably need new knees as industrial construction is not kind on your knees. When I get my new knees I want those good Home Depot Pressure treated ones so I can go through metal detectors. The same thing happened yesterday at the Knee guy. Instead of operating (for the 6th time) he will inject me with this grease mixed with Prixapro after fresh water dipping them.
I also may have to quarantine one knee from the other one for 72 days. The needle that they inject this Goo into your knee looks something like a turkey baster and it has a crank on it. Not a pleasant feeling either.
The whole point of this story is when I was driving home there was this gray foreign car in front of me going very slow. About 50 feet from the corner the car makes a right turn. Of course this was a sidewalk and he crashed into a "no parking sign" and bent it over. I put on my emergency flashers and got out to see if he was OK. At first i didn't see anyone in the car and figured it was parked and started moving. But I remembered following him for a while. I looked closer and this ancient little guy was in the drivers seat looking through the steering wheel. I think he was texting. He looked to be about 100, I asked if he was hurt and I assume his wife, but it could have been his nurse, BFF, heart doner, driving instructor or Karate teacher was in the passenger seat. He put the car in reverse and backed up into the oncoming traffic. I ran to the back of the car to stop the cars because i don't think this guy could hear me yell STOP!.
I ran to the front of his car and took a picture of his license and he drove off at two MPH.
I called 911 even thought I felt real bad for the guy, but he was going to kill himself, me or the Rock singer he had with him.
Unfortunately there is no age limit for driving but I think they should at least give you a test to see if you can remain conscious long enough get to a corner before you make a turn.